Remembering That First Dance

Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. In this episode you will hear about Remembering that First Dance.

                                                                                       
Website: https://inspiremereads.com
Books: https://amazon.com/author/emily-kay-tan.2021_

Chapters

• 0:23 Introduction
• 1:03 Remembering That First Dance
• 9:39 Key Takeaway

Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #209 of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about Remembering that First Dance.

Remembering That First Dance   

In a matter of seconds, my body was preheating like an oven, ready for a cake to be placed for baking; only I was not an oven, but I was oven-hot. I did not have a fever or any hot flashes. My body was heating up, and I could feel the heat permeating from his body, too. My face flustered, and then I stepped back from the man. The shocking physical sensations brought me back to over forty years ago when I had my first dance as a very young teen.

Only fourteen, I had never danced with a man before. And there I was on the dance floor with a twenty-five-year-old. Auntie Cassie was getting married; I was one of her bridesmaids, and he was one of the groomsmen. Jake extended one hand to ask me to dance, and I squirmed with many knots twisting inside of me. I didn’t want to do it; I was scared out of my mind. He smiled and told me that as a groomsman and bridesmaid pair at the wedding, we needed to have a dance together. 

Reluctantly, I stood up, and Jake took my hand to guide me to the dance floor. He took one of my hands to plop on his shoulder while holding my other hand in his big, meaty, warm hand. Jake had a wide, tanned, manly face. He had a head full of bushy hair. I wanted to run my fingers through it; I already had a thing for hair when it came to the opposite sex. Jake had such broad shoulders that it looked like they could easily envelope me. He was only inches taller than me. I knew he had to be because his eyes met mine at about the same level. I did not need to look up at him. Jake guided me, and we moved slowly from side to side. 

This stranger, whom I had never met until the wedding day, held me so close I could smell the liquor in his breath. I could barely feel his soft, bushy hair touch my right cheek. As light as it was, it was a soothing delight to feel. His whole chest pressed against mine. It was uncomfortable for this fourteen-year-old because I had never been that close to a man before, and he was a stranger! 

I had full body contact with a stranger for only one night of slow dancing so long ago, yet I remember it so vividly! He spoke softly next to my ear. He chuckled several times, and his face filled with smiles. I can’t remember anything he said, but I remember my body reacting. I most remember the heat permeating from his body and hearing and feeling the thumping of his heartbeat. My face reddened, and I didn’t quite understand what the rest of my body was doing, but I allowed our bodies to stay pressed together. In reflection, I believe it was titillating.

I told myself that since Jake drank some alcohol, it probably influenced his behavior. Still, nothing obscene happened. We probably just looked like two lovebirds dancing together. I may just be that fourteen-year-old Jake danced with at Auntie Cassie’s wedding, but that seemingly insignificant event over four decades ago plucked itself out from my memory bank when a particular new man appeared in my life.

My new man did not have that manly, wide face or a head full of bushy hair that I liked. He didn’t even have the broad shoulders to wrap and fill me with warmth and safety. So, how could he suddenly remind me of my first and only slow dance? He was nothing like Jake, so how could he remind me of Jake?

My mysterious man was not a one-night-only man like Jake. After only a few months of knowing Everest with brief hugs that entailed zero full-body contact, the strangest thing popped out of my memory bank.

From the moment I first went out with Everest, he extended wide open arms to hug me, but his chest hardly touched mine. I only felt his arms. Though I thought it was friendly when we were parting ways, I was not ready for any hug the first time I met him. Each time we met and parted ways, he extended an arm and would briefly touch my shoulder or rub the upper back of my right shoulder. I’d lean over to only be able to feel a bit of the side of his torso close to his arm. It felt endearing in the first two months, and it was enough for me. After all, we hadn’t known each other for very long. Though it was only two months, he had already proposed and requested a long-term commitment. Shocked, I found it hard to digest, but I wanted to be closer to him.

Strangely, he seemed so serious, yet there continued to be only gentle side hugs. Then, one day, I decided to be bold. It was probably not bold, but for me, it was daring! Through a text, I suggested that I wanted him to hug me fully. The next time I saw him, and when we were about to part ways, he again put his arm around my right shoulder, and I slightly leaned against the side of his right torso. This time, however, there was something different. 

Everest held on to me with his right arm. It was probably only seconds or a minute or two, but it was longer than ever before. While Everest held on to me, my body stood frozen in position. It warmed and heated up quickly. I couldn’t believe the sensations I was feeling! It wasn’t even a full-body or half-body hug, yet here I was, standing frozen with this man, touching only a bit of his torso and arm, and I heated up like an oven. Seconds later, I stepped away. I had to, or there would be an explosion in the oven!

Everest was soon gone, but I was left puzzled. Why did my body heat up? Why did it heat up so quickly? We didn’t even have that full-body hug I wanted. When I looked at Everest, I didn’t feel a magnetic force. However, my body did not cooperate with me and told a different story. My body and brain fought in opposition. My brain said there was no attraction, but my body said otherwise. My body was attracted to him, and my brain wanted to repel him. Like a magnet, I attracted and repelled this man simultaneously. In my dizziness, I wanted to faint and needed to lie down.

Jake, the man I slow-danced with as a young teen, appeared before me. The brief moment of heating up like an oven with Everest had brought me back in time more than forty years ago when I danced with Jake because the sensations were similar. But the amount of body contact was the opposite. It was in full-body contact with Jake, and it was barely any contact with Everest, yet how could the feeling be similar? I was baffled.

How could I be so strongly attracted to a stranger I met for only one evening? Perhaps it was because it was my first dance, and I was only fourteen. How could I be so drawn to a man my brain insists I was not attracted to? The battle from within pounded and scared me, and I am a mature woman now! The heat of my body burning frightened me, and I am no teenager. I didn’t want to feel what I felt. How could I have such sensations at my mature age? But in the next moment, my lips smiled in contentment. I didn’t need to touch Everest to feel the sparks. I smiled because I momentarily floated in the clouds.

Key Takeaway: Though the heated body contact scared me at fourteen, the sensations as an adult were of attraction or chemistry and nothing frightful.     

Next week, you will hear a new real-life story called The Triggers to Find Courage. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed, please text someone and ask them what they think about this podcast, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!