Past, Present, and Future Revisited

Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. In this episode you will hear about Past, Present, and Future Revisited.

                                                                                       
Website: https://inspiremereads.com
Books: https://amazon.com/author/emily-kay-tan.2021_

Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #216 of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about Past, Present, and Future Revisited.

Past, Present, and Future Revisited

Getting thrown into the past, present, and future separately and momentarily, I found intriguing and pleasing revelations about each moment. A devastating breakup and skydiving threw me into the present. Meditation also brought me the present. A strange, unusual, and abnormal man pulled me into the future. Daydreaming took me to the future, too. Writing personal narratives pulled me into my past. Reminiscing, reflecting, and musing frequently yanked me back to the past. Fully engrossed in each instant, I discerned a few shiny gold nuggets.

After ascending fifteen thousand feet in the atmosphere, the small plane stopped mid-air. The door slid open. My seat was the closest one to the door. I was excited about this trip I long dreamed of taking, but at that moment, my heart started to pound in fear. I wanted to back out. My heartbeat was so loud I wondered if I was going to have a heart attack. A man attached himself to my back. Snuggly strapped together, he said, “Okay, ready whenever you are.” He didn’t say anything else. Everyone on the plane said nothing, either. Everyone was silent, waiting for me to make that jump. I was waiting for me to say go, too! No one encouraged me or pushed me. So, I silently said, “I guess all there is to do is let go of my grip on the door frame and step out.”

I stepped out into the atmosphere. It was a seventy-second drop. In those few seconds, my head emptied itself of anything in the past. I had massive amounts of experiences and thoughts from the past, but they instantly escaped from my brain. My head also emptied itself of anything from the future. All my daydreams, imaginations, anxieties, and worries sped away from me. Before I could digest those seventy seconds, my companion pulled the cord, and we were floating in the cold and windy sky.

Floating in the sky and spreading my arms out like the soaring bird I always wanted to be, I was totally in the present. I had no past or future. I only had the present before me. I could feel the strong and cold winds. I only heard the swooshing sounds of the wind and nothing else. Talking to myself, I said it was mighty quiet and then let out a chuckle that cracked my frozen, cold face. How silly of me to say it was so quiet when no one except me and the man attached to my back was in sight. High up in the sky, I slowly floated down with the wind pushing and holding me up. The powerful winds firmly held me, and I did not fear freefalling. I was in a state of ecstasy. I was a little bird looking down at the beautiful, vast landforms and water. I was but one speck of the universe. I could feel all the wrinkles on my face because the smiles on my face said I found paradise. 

Paradise had me floating in the clouds of happiness. Because the miseries of the past escaped me, I was in paradise. Because I had no worries or anxieties about the future, I was in bliss. I found pure joy and peace when fully immersed in the present. Though I slowly floated down to earth, the descent back down seemed all too fast, but I discovered gems that sparked joy inside me. I chuckled because I found the secret to a piece of happiness, and I could access it anytime.

After a devastating breakup, I thought happiness escaped me, but it didn’t. Sitting at my breakfast table to eat my cereal, my past and future blanked. Was our togetherness in the past all a lie? My future included him, but now it was blank because he betrayed me. Always thinking and analyzing the past and dreaming and planning the future, those automatic activities of mine abruptly came to a screeching halt. The only thing left was me in the present.

At that moment, I felt the cold milk go down my throat. It slid down, feeling especially cold the morning after my ex told me that he had cheated on me. The morsels of oats were lumpy with a lot of texture I never noticed before. My mouth moved up and down, and my teeth broke them into smaller pieces to go down my throat. I never knew the fantastic functions of my teeth that helped me eat and digest food. While eating, I noticed the beautifully smooth varnish of my oak table and the soft, cushiony comfort of the chair I sat on. Looking out from my breakfast table to the patio sliding door to my backyard, I could feel the warmth of sunshine beaming through the glass to warm my shaken and shocked being. I noticed them all to the level of feeling their beauty because I got caught in the present. It was only when I stopped long enough in the present that I could appreciate the beauty and fulfillment of eating, seeing what was before me, and enjoying the warmth that the sun gave. Enveloped in the present, stars twinkled inside me because I discovered that the beauty of life embraces me, and I only needed to notice it to appreciate it. 

After two hours of public transit from the city, I finally arrived at a secluded place for a Zen retreat. Well-manicured greenery with statues and small areas of flowing water surrounded me. Sitting inside a large room in a temple, meditation exercises began. With my eyes closed in the dead silence around me, I quickly got bored. I started thinking about everything I needed to do; that was what usually happened in my mind. Then, I thought about an anticipated trip to Guam, where I would sit on a jeep bouncing through a forest jungle. I couldn’t wait for the adventure that wouldn’t happen for another few months. I couldn’t wait to go and check off another thing on my bucket list: Getting in the jungle. All my thoughts were about the future or something in my imagination. Still, sitting there with my legs uncomfortably crossed, I was supposed to be meditating, but it was the most annoying thing for me because I couldn’t stand sitting there doing nothing. Finally, I settled to listening to the rainfall beating on the windows. I got present to the sounds that surrounded me. Relaxation gently flowed across me, and I realized that when I am in the present, all is beautiful, and I find a little piece of heaven in my heart. Indeed, the nugget about the present is that it is a treasure to embrace and appreciate.

Moving on to the future, where thoughts and imagination come beforehand, I quickly jumped on board. Riding on a train, I always enjoyed daydreaming and letting my imagination go wild. But then I would start to worry that what I planned in my mind would not happen, and then anxiety would set in. Still, dreams are free; I will carry on with my dreams. 

It wasn’t until I met the strangest man that I began to have an aversion to the future and demand to be in the present more often. It was just another day at work when I got a call from someone I knew from the past. Many years had passed, so it was odd that this person contacted me. We met and shared what we were doing in the last ten years. After four meetings, he proposed. By the fifth meeting, everything was about our future together. At first, that did not sound strange, but as each subsequent encounter progressed, there was only talk about the future. He was not in the present to get to know me better. He was not in the present to enjoy the scenery that surrounded us or the activity we were doing. He was lost in the future. If I talked about the beautiful greenery around us, he pulled me to the future. If I asked him about anything in the past or his thoughts about something, he only dragged me into the future. He was not in the present with me. It did not feel good. 

I love to daydream and dream about many things I want in the future, but when I felt forced into only talking about the future with this peculiar man, I did not like it. How could I talk about having a future with a man I hardly knew? How could I know him better when he would not share much about his past? How could he be a part of my future when he kept pulling me to the future instead of being with me in the present? I didn’t have a past or present with this odd human. He only wanted to live in the future without creating a past with me or living in the present with me. It was too mindboggling, confusing, and absurd for me; my head was spinning. Though dizzy, I got a few nuggets about the future. While it is fun to daydream and dream of the future, I also need to be in the present to enjoy life. When my thoughts stay too long in the future, worries and anxieties ensue. If I spend all my time talking and thinking about the future, like how this strange man wanted, I would lose sight of living. I wouldn’t be living. I would lose the gift of the present. 

Frequently thinking about the past, I often say that I dislike it because it is a place of misery, but my thoughts usually wander there automatically. I wanted to put the brakes on it but did not know how. The introspective and analytical me who wants meaning in life wanted answers. When I began writing personal narratives, I brought myself to the past every time. Many times, it was painful to relive the moments. I could feel the wrinkles on my forehead, the pauses and the breaks I needed between sentences or paragraphs, and the strain, the tension, and the pressure on my head were sometimes overwhelming. Sometimes, even uncontrollable sobbing tears from eye-opening moments flooded me. Bobbing up and down without drowning, I found that the deep reflections down memory lane helped relieve a soul that was only clinging to the last lifeboat I could see.

Reliving the struggles and enduring the pain, I learned lessons to give me wisdom. I discovered eye-opening moments to soothe my soul. Most astonishing was my discovery that my adversities could be a source of inspiration and abundance for a life without monotony. I never imagined that my journey to the past could bring such contentment in the present and hope for the future.

Each moment lived in the past, present, and future has its value. Though yesterday is gone, I can always reflect to learn lessons and remember good times. Since it will never return, it reminds me to appreciate each moment lived. Though the future has not yet happened, I can dream and design what I wish. Since it is not here yet, it reminds me not to worry about something that has not happened. As for the present, it is before me; I have only to enjoy it and be grateful for it. When I am present to the present, I can see and feel its beauty, bringing forth peace and happiness.

Key Takeaway: Though momentarily placed in the past, present, or future, I found clarity in the good and bad of each.

Next week, you will hear a new real-life story called I Wanted Him and then I Didn’t. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed, please text someone and ask them what they think about this podcast, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!